Christmas Motto - ‘whatever works’
I have a motto when it comes to our family life and in particular my 11-year-old son Brody – ‘whatever works’. This motto is applied to everyday life, both at home and away.
It also applies to special occasions and events – like Christmas.
For background purposes, Brody is a happy-go-lucky, medical mystery with an undiagnosed genetic syndrome, wobbly legs, autism, epilepsy and the best sense of humour you will ever encounter. When he was first born, unaware of his disabilities, I was guilty of envisaging Christmases through rose tinted glasses with all the traditions – family parties, turkey dinners (even though I don’t even like them), boardgames and late nights.
I didn’t consider that the Christmases you see in television adverts rarely exist for most families and pictured easy Christmassy bliss. I certainly didn’t envisage a child who could not tell me what they wanted for Christmas, sensory needs, routine and well, an iPad being a key feature of the day.
Fairly quickly I realised that my favourite motto is key to this holiday season. We must do what works for us and not worry about so-called traditions. All that matters is that my kids are happy and comfortable and have the best day that they can.
Brody, a 11 year old boy who is smiling and wearing a Christmas top with Santa who is pointing at the camera.
This begins with Christmas presents. Every year I try my hardest to guess what Brody would like and pray that I get it right. Yes, it’s hard not knowing exactly what he wants but he tends to like the same types of toys that he has since he was a toddler. And this often means buying very similar things every year.
Whatever works.
When we wake up on Christmas morning, we bring the children downstairs, and we are lucky that Brody finds it all very exciting as he loves opening presents. This of course means that he will try to open his sister Sydney’s, so we have a pile for each of them and one of us sits with Brody to steer him towards his pile only. His love of unwrapping also means that we can’t put presents under our tree on the lead up to Christmas and if anyone gives us a gift that isn’t for him, it must be done discreetly like a ninja.
Whatever works.
For Christmas dinner we have two children who eat totally different things. This means that there might be two different meals on the table but to be honest, I think it’s probably easier than dishing up a three course, Christmas lunch. We usually have our ‘Christmas meal’ at Brody’s dinner time to stick to his routine.
Whatever works.
Sometimes, by the afternoon Brody is unsettled and wants to be out of the house for a little while, whereas his sister wants to be playing with her new toys in her pyjamas. This means that in the past I have nipped over to my parents with Brody for an hour or so whilst Sydney has stayed at home with her dad.
Some might frown upon this, but you’ve guessed it – whatever works.
I should add here that our trusted friend the iPad features heavily throughout the day – even during mealtimes. And you know what? I couldn’t care less.
By the time the evening comes we stick to Brody’s bedtime routine and Sydney stays up longer, which gives us the opportunity to have some one-on-one time with her.
This is how Christmas looks for our family. (Insert cheese and wine throughout too).
If I could tell you one thing, if you walk a similar path, or if you’re just starting out on this journey, it is this - remember this motto. Do whatever works for your family, create your own traditions and you will find a way of making Christmas as special as it can be.
Christmas is never like it is on those TV adverts. Behind most photos on social media are frazzled parents and arguing siblings. Try to keep that in mind. We may not have it all together, but together we have it all. Our family.
Happy Christmas and don’t forget to charge keep that iPad charged.
